*-*-*-*
Susan was glad that she not only had a window seat, but that no one was sitting next to her. She watched the shrinking figure of David standing on the pavement. What a day she'd had! So much more had happened than she ever expected. What had started out as a simple quest to discover whether there was any validity to Peter's story about looking for the rings, had become a day of emotional turmoil. She felt like she had been in London for a week.
What she did know now was that Peter wasn't making up the story about the rings, and neither was the Professor, when he had spoken of them to the Pevensies as children. It also meant that these small little rings were probably the reason that Peter and Edmund had been at the train station the day of the accident, and the reason why the Professor, Aunt Polly and Lucy had been travelling with Eustace and Jill on their way to school. In one sense, these little rings were to blame for at least some of her family's deaths, and yet she felt no anger towards them. Instead she was inexplicably drawn to them. She felt that they held answers – answers to questions she was only beginning to ask.
There was still the possibility that they were no more than rings, and that touching or wearing them would have no effect. In that case, this whole trip would have been in vain, and Susan would be back where she started, looking for answers in some other place. But she was fairly certain they would work. Through everything that had happened in the last day, she was starting to see the walls she had carefully built up around her memories collapse, and through the rubble she was beginning to remember that other world called Narnia.
Not the pretend world of children's games she had created, but a real, beautiful world with talking beasts and mythical creatures; a world where she and siblings had ruled. The memories were still fuzzy, and she caught only glimpses, but the glimpses filled her with a strange sense of joy and aliveness. It was these glimpses that helped her to believe that the rings did hold a power which would lead her to the answers she sought.
Either that, or she was following the rest of her family down the path of insanity. But when she thought about David, and his calm belief of everything she told him, she found hope that this was not madness but something deeper, more sacred which she'd been chosen to be a part of.
Thinking about David, brought warmth to her cheeks. Why was he being so kind? Did he simply feel sorry for her because of her loss and Margaret's insensitivity? Why was he so worried about her trying the rings, and what caused him believe in the rings at all? There was something mysterious about the man, and she felt both fortunate and afraid that he had paid so much attention to her.
She wondered again whether she should have let him go with her, but reminded herself of all the reasons why she'd denied him. She felt the strangest sensation, however, that the rings might also hold answers about the past of this mysterious man. Thinking about the rings made her want to see them again. She carefully put her hand into her coat pocket to take out the small bag that contained the rings. She had decided to keep them on her, rather packing them away in her suitcase.
As she pulled out the small bag, she immediately realised that something was wrong. The drawstring of the bag had somehow come open and the bag was now empty! Frantically, she patted her pocket, and was relieved to feel the small round objects still there under the fabric. It appeared that the drawstring had come open, and the rings fallen out into her pocket.
Grateful that she was still wearing the gloves she had put on that chilly morning, she reached into the pocket and pulled out a green ring, then a yellow, and then another green. She put her hand in again and found that the pocket was empty. A cold dread washed over her. The second yellow ring was missing! It had somehow fallen out.
Susan fearfully glanced over the floor of the coach around her. There were various items of rubbish on the floor, but no yellow ring. She tried to cast her mind back – to retrace her steps from the time she packed her things to the time she got onto the coach. She might have lost it anywhere along the way. Her greatest fear was that someone might find the ring and touch it.
And that someone could be anyone; A beggar walking along the street, Margaret, or her parents, or the family help, Anna. She hoped it would be David, but the chances of that were slim. If it was a stranger, however, the minute that person picked up the ring, he or she would find themselves thrust into another world without a minute's warning. They would have no way of getting out of that place since Susan had both green rings. Susan half hoped that it had fallen out at Margaret's house and that the silly girl would pick it up. It would serve her right for the way she had treated Susan; there wouldn't be any smirk on her face then. But Susan realised that she didn't really want Margaret to find it. Besides, she didn't relish the thought of having rescue the girl.
And that is what she would have to do. She'd have to travel to the Wood World herself and rescue which ever poor (or not so poor) soul had found it's way there. She was so worried, that she almost removed her glove to use the remaining yellow ring then and there. But she checked herself, and realised that she was acting too hastily.
There was still a chance that she might find the ring somewhere in the coach. It could be on the floor under her seat which she couldn't see from her current position. Wherever it was, it might be some time before anyone found it. It would be rash for her to abandon all her plans now, if the ring hadn't been found. Susan had planned from the beginning to take a bag full of provisions with her on her trip.
She remembered how she and her siblings had twice found themselves in Narnia, completely unprepared, and she wasn't going to be caught out a third time. (She was so concerned about the lost ring and what she should do about it, that she didn't stop to wonder over the fact that these memories had suddenly returned to her with absolute clarity.) The sensible Susan told her she should wait until she got home. Besides, if some stranger had found the ring, he could be just about anyone, and he might be dangerous.
She now wished that she had agreed to let David go with her. But there was no longer any chance of that since she had only one yellow ring. Either way, it wouldn't do for Susan to suddenly vanish while sitting in the coach. She needed to try the ring when she was on her own.
Susan took a few deep breaths and calmed herself. She decided to stick with her original plan, and return to Cambridge first. There was not a lot she could do about the lost ring. She didn't even consider returning to London to look for it; she wouldn't know where to begin, and she wasn't up to facing Margaret again – especially not over the rings. The trip was nearly over any way. She resigned herself to wait.
*-*-*-*
That evening, Susan found herself alone once again in the room with the Dragon Ship Painting. She mentally went through her check list one last time. Everything was ready.
That afternoon, Uncle Harold had fetched her from the station. She had reported to him and Aunt Alberta about her trip to Scotland Yard and everything she had found there. Everything except for the rings, that was. Uncle Harold, much to Aunt Alberta's disapproval, had said he would make a plan to go and identify Eustace's diary if Susan was sure that it was his. She assured him that it was.
After a less than enjoyable vegetarian dinner, Susan began to pack for her journey, she wanted to leave nothing to chance. While many of her things were still at the old house, she had also brought much with her for her indefinite stay with her aunt and uncle. She used the backpack in which she had brought her hand luggage to stow what she needed for the trip. Firstly, she placed in it a spare set of clothes, especially an extra warm jacket. She also packed Edmund's torch and Uncle Digory's pocket watch. She made sure she had a simple first aid kit – mainly plasters, a bandage and some aspirin.
The hardest thing to pack was food. She didn't know how long the journey would last and didn't have much access to or space for a suitable supply of food. She eventually made her way down to the Scrubb's kitchen and asked the cook for some crackers and fruit, explaining that she planned to go on a picnic the next day. The cook was surprised that she should wish to go picnicing in such weather as was common at that time of year, but didn't question her further. She also allowed Susan to take a travelling water bottle with a strap one could wear over the shoulder.
Susan also packed some simple toiletries – mainly soap, a tooth brush and tooth paste. She hesitated over her make-up box. It had been some time since she had gone without wearing make-up, but the bag was full, so she relented, and dropped in only a small stick of lipstick. Last of all, she went to the box which contained the clothes her family had been wearing on the day of the train crash. She retrieved from it Peter's pocket knife, which had been found in his trousers pocket. She put this in the bag along with a box of matches she had taken from the fireplace in the sitting room.
Now that everything was ready, Susan prepared herself for what she was about to do. She sat down on the bed with the backpack slung over her right shoulder. She picked up the small bag in which the three rings were contained and tipped it over the bed until the yellow ring fell out. Then she closed the bag with it's drawstring and put it safely back into her pocket. The moment of truth had arrived. Her heart was pounding in her ears like the sound of gallopping horses.
Hesitantly, she reached out her left hand towards the yellow ring lying on the bed next to her and slipped her finger into it. At once, the room vanished. The last thing Susan remembered seeing was the Dragon Ship Painting. In the minutes before the room vanished, she was sure she had seen the painting grow in size, and seen the waves really surging and the ship really ploughing through the sea. This was only for a moment, before everything vanished, and she was overwhelmed by the feeling of rushing up through water. A moment later, her head broke through the surface of the water and she found herself in a clear pool within a beautiful earthy green wood.
She was not far from the shore of the pool, and climbed out. She should have been surprised that both her clothes and the backpack on her shoulder where completely dry, but in that place, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. The wood was unlike any she had seen before. There were very many different types of trees. Many looked very old, and though she could feel the warmth of the sun shining down, she could not see it through the leafy green canopy.
And yet, as she she stood there taking it all then, she found she could not remember having been in any other wood but this one. In fact, she could hardly remember having been anywhere else. But what did that matter? She did not want to be anywhere else. This place was perfect. Susan walked over to the nearest tree and sat down on the soft grass. She looked back towards the pool from which she had come, and wondered over the fact that very near to its edge, there was a small patch of reddish-brown earth where no grass grew.
Something in the back of her mind told her that that was so the children would not forget which pool led to their world, but she didn't know where that memory came from or what it meant. While, she was sitting there, she looked at the backpack which she had been carrying, but was now on the grass next to her. She wondered why it was there and of what use it was. She was about to open it and take a look inside when a flash of motion caught her eye.
She looked in the direction of the movement, and saw a very small creature trotting towards her. Immediately she knew that it was a guinea-pig, and was filled with the strangest urge to laugh. As it came nearer, she started giggling aloud. Her voice echoed through the woods, but did not frighten the guinea-pig, which continued making its way towards her.
When Susan finally recovered from her fit of laughter, which had felt really good, she took a closer look at the creature, and saw that tied around the animal's belly was a bright yellow ring. She felt that there was something important about that ring, and that it was not normal for a guinea-pig to be wearing one, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Then the face of a young man came back to her. A face with deep, intense eyes – looking at her and lips curled up in mirth. She recognised the face and knew that he too was laughing about the guinea-pig. The face had a name – if only she could remember it – Daniel, no um... David, that was his name. As she remembered the name, she noticed that she was also wearing a bright yellow ring – one that was identical to the one the guinea-pig wore. David had warned her not to use the ring... But why? And why had she told him about it? Confused memories began to return. Slowly they began to unravel themselves and become clearer.
Eventually it all came back to her. She remembered who she was, and why she was here. And she realised where “here” was. It was the same Wood Between the Worlds that Professor Digory had told her about as a child. The wood was real; the ring had worked – she had made it.
And not only did the memory of the last few days return, but other memories too. The walls were finally demolished and she could remember all those memories of her happy times in Narnia just as well as she could remember her life in our world. She was a little embarrassed when she compared her behaviour as Queen in Narnia to that of grown up Susan in our world. But none of that really mattered now. The rings had brought her here – and here could take her back to Narnia. For the first time in very many years, she really truly wanted to find Narnia again. Now if only she could tell which of all these various pools was the one that led to that wonderful world.
That afternoon, Uncle Harold had fetched her from the station. She had reported to him and Aunt Alberta about her trip to Scotland Yard and everything she had found there. Everything except for the rings, that was. Uncle Harold, much to Aunt Alberta's disapproval, had said he would make a plan to go and identify Eustace's diary if Susan was sure that it was his. She assured him that it was.
After a less than enjoyable vegetarian dinner, Susan began to pack for her journey, she wanted to leave nothing to chance. While many of her things were still at the old house, she had also brought much with her for her indefinite stay with her aunt and uncle. She used the backpack in which she had brought her hand luggage to stow what she needed for the trip. Firstly, she placed in it a spare set of clothes, especially an extra warm jacket. She also packed Edmund's torch and Uncle Digory's pocket watch. She made sure she had a simple first aid kit – mainly plasters, a bandage and some aspirin.
The hardest thing to pack was food. She didn't know how long the journey would last and didn't have much access to or space for a suitable supply of food. She eventually made her way down to the Scrubb's kitchen and asked the cook for some crackers and fruit, explaining that she planned to go on a picnic the next day. The cook was surprised that she should wish to go picnicing in such weather as was common at that time of year, but didn't question her further. She also allowed Susan to take a travelling water bottle with a strap one could wear over the shoulder.
Susan also packed some simple toiletries – mainly soap, a tooth brush and tooth paste. She hesitated over her make-up box. It had been some time since she had gone without wearing make-up, but the bag was full, so she relented, and dropped in only a small stick of lipstick. Last of all, she went to the box which contained the clothes her family had been wearing on the day of the train crash. She retrieved from it Peter's pocket knife, which had been found in his trousers pocket. She put this in the bag along with a box of matches she had taken from the fireplace in the sitting room.
Now that everything was ready, Susan prepared herself for what she was about to do. She sat down on the bed with the backpack slung over her right shoulder. She picked up the small bag in which the three rings were contained and tipped it over the bed until the yellow ring fell out. Then she closed the bag with it's drawstring and put it safely back into her pocket. The moment of truth had arrived. Her heart was pounding in her ears like the sound of gallopping horses.
Hesitantly, she reached out her left hand towards the yellow ring lying on the bed next to her and slipped her finger into it. At once, the room vanished. The last thing Susan remembered seeing was the Dragon Ship Painting. In the minutes before the room vanished, she was sure she had seen the painting grow in size, and seen the waves really surging and the ship really ploughing through the sea. This was only for a moment, before everything vanished, and she was overwhelmed by the feeling of rushing up through water. A moment later, her head broke through the surface of the water and she found herself in a clear pool within a beautiful earthy green wood.
She was not far from the shore of the pool, and climbed out. She should have been surprised that both her clothes and the backpack on her shoulder where completely dry, but in that place, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. The wood was unlike any she had seen before. There were very many different types of trees. Many looked very old, and though she could feel the warmth of the sun shining down, she could not see it through the leafy green canopy.
And yet, as she she stood there taking it all then, she found she could not remember having been in any other wood but this one. In fact, she could hardly remember having been anywhere else. But what did that matter? She did not want to be anywhere else. This place was perfect. Susan walked over to the nearest tree and sat down on the soft grass. She looked back towards the pool from which she had come, and wondered over the fact that very near to its edge, there was a small patch of reddish-brown earth where no grass grew.
Something in the back of her mind told her that that was so the children would not forget which pool led to their world, but she didn't know where that memory came from or what it meant. While, she was sitting there, she looked at the backpack which she had been carrying, but was now on the grass next to her. She wondered why it was there and of what use it was. She was about to open it and take a look inside when a flash of motion caught her eye.
She looked in the direction of the movement, and saw a very small creature trotting towards her. Immediately she knew that it was a guinea-pig, and was filled with the strangest urge to laugh. As it came nearer, she started giggling aloud. Her voice echoed through the woods, but did not frighten the guinea-pig, which continued making its way towards her.
When Susan finally recovered from her fit of laughter, which had felt really good, she took a closer look at the creature, and saw that tied around the animal's belly was a bright yellow ring. She felt that there was something important about that ring, and that it was not normal for a guinea-pig to be wearing one, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Then the face of a young man came back to her. A face with deep, intense eyes – looking at her and lips curled up in mirth. She recognised the face and knew that he too was laughing about the guinea-pig. The face had a name – if only she could remember it – Daniel, no um... David, that was his name. As she remembered the name, she noticed that she was also wearing a bright yellow ring – one that was identical to the one the guinea-pig wore. David had warned her not to use the ring... But why? And why had she told him about it? Confused memories began to return. Slowly they began to unravel themselves and become clearer.
Eventually it all came back to her. She remembered who she was, and why she was here. And she realised where “here” was. It was the same Wood Between the Worlds that Professor Digory had told her about as a child. The wood was real; the ring had worked – she had made it.
And not only did the memory of the last few days return, but other memories too. The walls were finally demolished and she could remember all those memories of her happy times in Narnia just as well as she could remember her life in our world. She was a little embarrassed when she compared her behaviour as Queen in Narnia to that of grown up Susan in our world. But none of that really mattered now. The rings had brought her here – and here could take her back to Narnia. For the first time in very many years, she really truly wanted to find Narnia again. Now if only she could tell which of all these various pools was the one that led to that wonderful world.
*-*-*-*
Susan looked around her. She stared in vain at the limitless number of pools. Each one was identical to the next – there was no way of knowing which pool led to Narnia. Susan had far too many pools to choose from and nothing to distinguish one from the other. Except, that was, for the curious patch of exposed earth on the bank of the one she'd come out of.
She remembered now, from the stories she had heard, that Aunt Polly had made uncle Digory mark our world's pool before they set off on their adventure to that bleak dying world called Charn. But they had never had a chance, nor the need, to mark Narnia's pool. She realised, with a sense of irony, that even if Peter and Ed had succeeded in giving the rings to Jill and Eustace, they would not necessarily have been able to return to Narnia. Not, at least, without Aslan's guidance.
Dear Aslan. The memory of his name brought with it a pang of guilt. Susan could not call on him to guide her now, after she had denied his existence for so many years. She felt like a foolish child, as she remembered his deep eyes and soft golden mane. She remembered how he had looked at her the last time she had let him down – on that second trip to Narnia when Lucy claimed to have seen him. She didn't think there would be any forgiveness this time around. Besides, she couldn't even ask him for forgiveness without first finding which pool led to Narnia. And chances were, he wouldn't let her return now, regardless of whether he had said she could come again or not.
Despite the unusual atmosphere of the wood, which exuded a kind of joy that could not allow her to feel really sad, Susan felt a wet tear fall down her cheek. She thought of how her dear sister Lucy would never have been in such a predicament. She had always believed in Narnia, and in Aslan. It should have been Lucy who was here now, not Susan. As she thought back on her family, the tears began to flow freely. But unlike all previous times, the crying did make her feel better. It was hard to feel absolute grief or fear or anger in this place. Instead she felt a simple sense of loss and regret.
She allowed herself to cry for some time. There was no one around, except for the little guinea-pig, who had stopped a few feet away from her, watching her with intent yet friendly eyes. When she felt that she had cried out as much as she could, she made her way back to the pool and washed her face. The water was very refreshing, and she felt much better than she had for a very long time. Then she returned to the tree and started to look for some fruit in her backpack. The guinea-pig continued to watch her. She looked at him and smiled, then broke off a piece of apple and fed it to him. He took it gratefully, and she patted the soft fur of his head.
“So what do I do now,” said Susan aloud, half to herself, half to the guinea-pig. “The yellow ring worked, but now what? I couldn't have come all this way for no reason. Do I look for Narnia's pool or simply give up and go back home?” The guinea-pig cocked his head sideways, as if listening to her.
“If only I knew which of these pools led to Narnia. I could at least try it,” she continued, “Maybe Aslan will let me back into Narnia to do whatever it was Jill and Eustace were meant to do, now that they are gone. Maybe if I complete this quest, I can prove myself to Aslan and he won't be so angry with me. If only I knew how to find it!”
The guinea-pig, which had been lying contentedly on the grass, listening to her voice, suddenly got to his feet, and started walking away. After a few steps, however, he stopped, turned back and looked at her. Then he ran on a little further before stopping and looking again. With understanding, Susan realised that he wanted her to follow. She got up, and started after him. “Do you know where Narnia is?” she asked, laughing aloud and to herself. “I wouldn't be surprised by anything in a place like this!”
As she began to walk, she felt a strange sensation, as though she was being drawn to a specific spot in the wood. The guinea-pig was leading her in the direction from which the sensation came. The more she followed him, the stronger the sensation felt. It was something like a very low hum, though felt rather than heard, but it seemed to grow “louder” as she neared it. The guinea-pig had come to stop in a round hollow. The hollow wasn't very big nor very deep and occupied an area almost the same size and shape as one of the pools. As Susan approached it, her heart began to beat faster and the vibration became so intense that her ears started ringing.
The guinea-pig had stopped. He stood next to a medium-sized apple tree growing right in the middle of the hollow. He turned back and looked at her significantly. Susan realised that the vibration was emanating from the tree itself. She was also convinced that the pool which led to Narnia could not be far away. She took another step towards the apple tree, but found she could go no further. Something barred her way, preventing her from entering the hollow.
“It's no good,” she told the guinea-pig, “I can't go any further.” The guinea-pig moved its head in a manner that seemed almost to be a nod, then scurried back towards her. She bent down to pat his furry head. “Thank you, my friend,” she said, “I can feel the presence of Narnia here – the pool must be very close by.” Susan looked around her and noticed that there was only one pool close to the hollow. There were others nearby, but they were a little further away, and cut off by trees. As she approached the pool, she could still feel the vibration, though it had grown just a little weaker.
The guinea-pig looked up at her, with a questioning look on his face. “I don' know,” answered Susan. “This must be it. That apple tree looks ever so much like a Narnian apple tree, and this is the nearest pool.” As she said it however, she felt a slight tinge of doubt. Perhaps it was doubt over whether she would be allowed back or not.
“Well,” she said, turning back to the guinea-pig, “I guess I'm about to find out. Would you like to come with?” The guinea-pig moved his head again. This time he was definitely shaking it. “You've got a yellow ring” she encouraged him, realising that she really would like some company, “I can give you my spare green so you can return whenever you like.” Again the guinea-pig was shaking his head. He walked up to the pool and dipped in one of his paws. He took in out again, and ran up to her, showing her it was wet.
Susan bent down to pat him again. “Oh, of course,” she laughed, “How could I have forgotten? The green rings take you out of the Wood into another world, the yellows bring you back to the Wood. I remember Uncle Digory telling us how it had taken them some time work it out.” Along with this recollection came another memory. “Oh, yes. I had forgotten that the rings work like magnets.”
She wasn't sure whether it was a good or bad thing that she had forgotten this important property of the rings. She might have been further tempted to contact David and invite him to come along after discovering that the second yellow was missing.
Susan hadn't thought about the missing yellow since arriving in the Woods. For the first time, it occurred to her that either it had not been found, or it had somehow not been used. She was relieved, but realised that the danger of someone else finding it was still very real. A stranger – or worse, a friend named Margaret – could emerge from our world's pool at any second.
Susan knew now what she should do. “Dear guinea-pig,” she said, sitting down next to him near the edge of the new pool. “Since you would rather stay here, I have a special favour to ask of you.” The guinea-pig looked at her with an expression that indicated he was listening and would do what she wished. She found a small scrap of paper and a pen in her backpack. She scribbled a quick note explaining how the rings worked. Then she took the bag containing the green rings out of her pocket. She removed one green ring, slipping it back into her pocket. Then she put the folded note into the bag and hung the bag around the guinea-pig's neck by its draw-string.
“Okay. If I succeed, and this pool allows me into Narnia, I want you to keep this bag safe. I lost a yellow ring back when I was in our world – the one we originally came from (though you probably don't remember it). I'm afraid that someone will touch it and find themselves in this Wood without knowing what has happened. If someone should emerge from our pool – the one you saw me come out of – please will you take this bag to them? Make sure they read the letter and use the ring to go back to our world. Can you do that for me?
The guinea-pig made his nodding movement. “Oh thank you, dear guinea-pig,” she said, a weight lifted off her shoulders. She gave him an awkward hug – which was more like a squish on such a small creature, and patted his head one last time. Then he turned and started his way back to our pool. “Such a sweet little guinea-pig,” thought Susan to herself. She realised she was going to miss him, but was glad she had solved the problem of the missing ring.
“Farewell,” she shouted after the small creature. Then she turned back to face the pool that might be Narnia. She took a deep breath and switched from the yellow to the green ring. “Well, Aslan,” she said, “If there is any way you will let me return to Narnia, let it be now.” She took a step into the pool. She felt herself sinking down into a void and saw the whirling of indistinct shapes. She was on her way...
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